Confession is good for the soul. When we confess our trespasses to one another, we learn, we grow, we pray, we give and receive forgiveness, and we move on… Confession time: Now that the dust has settled, my heart is still in China. And, yes, here we grow again. Not, it is not a misspelled word; here we ‘grow’ again…
In the last couple of weeks my life has turned upside down and inside out, as it is usual during my times of decision making. What surprises me is that I still get surprised. What gives?
The Lord has been good to me, so good indeed, that I simply have to share the Good News of Salvation! My heart has been filled with love for the Republic of China, the people, and there is no turning back. It is the deepest desire of my heart to return there, and do something that I am not exactly sure what it is. Another big question: When will this take place? This time I want to go on a Missionary Trip. I don’t want a taste of the field; I want be a worker of the field. You see, I have so very much to be thankful for, that I must share HIS deep love, I must. Today my Auntie asked me why would I do such a thing like that, since we have so much need here in The States. We do have a need for Christ here in Beautiful America, true, she has a point. However, take a drive down any major highway and you will see the advertisement signs for Churches of all kinds – just one example. (I love the First Amendment, I love the United States of America, and I love that In God We Trust.) Yes, I have responsibilities here at home; I am a single Mom raising an almost 17 year-old boy. I moderate a support group. I do a little bit of this, and a little bit of that, but I always manage to stay busy. I am furthering my education. I am trying to establish a home with a very significant other, making dreams and plans for the future, but the truth must be told. As much as I love my son, and the comfortable life that I have here, all of it is temporary, and will soon come to pass. Don’t get me wrong, I would give my life for my son’s without even having to think about it, but my son has accepted the Lord Jesus the Christ as his Lord and Savior. My mission, with my son, is accomplished. Now it is time for him to live up to his commitment to God and that responsibility is not mine. As I sit in bed in the middle of the night, going through my three books that I am trying to read, I find myself jittery with thoughts of China. If we can reach that one soul for Christ, that one soul can reach others. You see, the Chinese are very diligent people, living with a purpose and a goal. If one can be reached, as in anything else that they touch, they will be diligent about doing the work at hand and completing the task. But something horrid is going on, and this is no exaggeration. For one that is used to seeking HIM, and finding HIM, horrid it is. I keep asking God about my return trip to China, and I am not getting any answers. So, it begs the question. Is it that God is not speaking, or is it that I am not listening? My mind, heart, soul, and even my flesh are stirred up, but Heaven refuses to set my path before me, yet. So I have to go back in HIStory to seek for answers. There was this crazy fellow, his name was Noah, look up the story please, that built an ark. That was crazy, for the Earth had never seen rain. That was crazy, for the ark had been built on a mountain. That was crazy, according to all, but according to The Master, there was a plan. Surely HIS word came to pass, and after it stopped raining, Noah simply had to sit there and wait. He had done according to HIS Father, yet he had to sit and wait. Looking back one would notice that this seems to be a recurring theme of this blessed life of mine. Hurry-up and wait, Christine. Using my imagination, I picture Noah speaking to God. Okay Lord, I did as you told me, and now we are sitting in an unknown place, we haven’t seen the sun, and time seems still. In the process he released some birds in his quest for hope. It was that quest for hope that eventually gave him the go, the little creature, sent on a mission, never returned. No, I do not pretend to compare my life with the life of Noah. However I do picture Noah going crazy inside that ark; thinking to himself, these animals are smelly, noisy, my family is enduring this time of wait with me, they didn’t hear the instructions, only I did, they stood by me, and Lord, now what? So I must confess; I was growing restless. Today, as I explained to my Auntie that I must return to China, it became clear to me. It is not that God is not speaking, HE already spoke. It is not that I am not listening, I already did. It is that I simply have to wait, and learn to wait, and learn to wait...for the right time, HIS time and not mine. Blessed for me I am not trapped in an ark. In your prayers, please remember the Missionaries that are all around the World doing HIS labor of love. In your prayers, please remember yours truly, that the Good Lord will complete the works that HE began in me. Stay blessed, for HE is only one word away, “Jesus.” Call upon HIM and in due time HE will open the doors of the ark.
~Chris
No comments:
Post a Comment